From a fetal position on the kitchen floor (crying into a towel so that kids wouldn’t hear me) & multiplying zeros on my client’s accounts
+ the cost of the mental slavery to the generational and cultural patterns that was keeping me broke (in my bank account) and broken (in bedroom)
--- until I chose to let go of this ONE ADDICTION
(aka HOW TO SHIFT from Underpaid to Serving at the Highest Levels).
People know me as a leader, brilliant strategist, power connector, high-level mindset mentor - as someone who bridges the gap between the concepts and details that bring in (in sustainable & simple way) $340k or $15k per month per clients or $125k sales AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT for my clients.
People know me as a conscious mom to little indigo girls and a loving wife to a soulmate husband… a fearless woman who blazes the trails & travels the world; as a team captain who has moved over 4,000 miles away from home to play basketball in a foreign country despite the fact I barely spoke the language.
But what very few knew, is that my addiction to this ONE thing kept me playing small, hiding behind my client’s success, not feeling worthy of asking for $25k sale…
...and that left me feeling trapped, unfulfilled, unheard, at home, as a mom, as a wife, as a woman, as a sexual being.
Not in a way you think.
See, my great-grandma was married to a very violent man who would beat her and my grandma just because they were women. A drunk, there was never enough money to put food on the table. When he was imprisoned during the WWII, my great-grandmother would beg door-to-door to be able to feed her three young children.
Lesson learned: if a woman is not financially independent, she is at the mercy of a man she is with.
My grandmother married a kind man who never raised his hand. But he worked around the world, so she was raising my mom on her own, working two jobs to make it month to month. When he came home, she continued to adapt to his preferences, and was glad to do it because, afterall, he was a good man.
Lesson learned: a woman in marriage shall put aside her desires, needs, and wants to keep peace.
My mom worked two shifts before opening her own (now successful) business over 20 years ago, so money was tight. While my sister and I were not really aware of it (because we never lacked love and attention), I knew something was up when our car broke down and so did my mom: “We can either fix the car or buy your school supplies.” [I remember that was the moment I vowed to myself to never, ever be in a situation where I’d have to pick based on finances].
Lesson learned: a good mom never treats herself to anything, she always watches every penny and makes sure to give to her kids first.
Fast forward to a few years ago… Married to a loving man. Mom to two indigo girls. Powerhouse achiever. While I was able to create unmatched results for my clients, I could not pass a very specific financial threshold… And when I did, sure enough, the following month, my earning s would plummet.
Addicted to external results as a form of measuring my worth, it wasn't long before I was sucked into a spiral. Addicted to powerful and deep conversations with my husband, not much has changed after we were done talking.
...With highly-intelligent mind that KNEW the how, and the free spirit that felt the WHY… I was stuck in my inability to move past the WHAT even, no matter how hard I hustled and grinded…
...Feeling angry, guilty, ashamed, judgemental, I put on weight while trying so hard to make it all work from a whole new angle: I dove all into energies, spirituality, the whole woo...
I did not realize how hard I was compensating with all the external stuff just so that I could keep my femininity, wild woman, my sexy, my true genius, my divine gifts and my superpowers... safe, intact, hidden. Free of judgement...and free of rejection.
Because, after all - I was guarding a deep wound… that kept me shackles to the programs and patterns that were being passed down through generations.
Until I was ready and willing to let it all go. To stand in the middle while the hurricane raged around me, tearing down anything and everything that no longer served me. It left me raw, real, vulnerable. Naked.
I found myself.
“Let go of appearance of lack and embrace the wealthy rich glorious godly part of you.”
When you step up and allow yourself to see your TRUE self…
…free of convictions how
...a relationship should look like.
...a powerful woman should act like.
...a good mom should sacrifice.
...a divine woman should feel like.
When you see yourself in that fetal position not as weak, not as something less, not as something to be ashamed of...but as a strong leader who loves ALL of yourself…
That’s when you heal through your work.
And when you find that higher correlation and highest meaning between your Genius, Purpose, Spirituality, and Wealth…
...using your business as a vehicle for the highest level of transformation + Infused with my brilliant strategic mindset, business savvy, divine gifts & masterful mindset mentoring...
That’s when you turn your $150/hr services into $15k/mo retainers; $10k months into $100k sales; and add $340k to your bottom line while trading your office chair to a seat on cross-country & international flights…
When you take off the masks and realize YOU are enough. And worthy…
That’s when you transform your relationships, paint with all the colors of the heart, and turn cold tears into steamy looks...
And your willingness to dance this wild striptease, my love, is what sets you apart from the 98% of those who choose to stay at the dungeon of generational programing, dreaming big dreams but letting them die... still inside of them.